“I live my days feeling like they’re just slipping away, and I’m not making a difference in my teeny-tiny world for You.” – The prayer I scribbled out the morning of that day the tears wouldn’t stop spilling out.
Part is the waiting – being stuck on a shelf.
Part, the moments of monotony and mess that often flood my days.
Someone always has a heart issue. (Yes, often it’s me!)
Someone always needs to be guided to the cross.
Someone always needs to be fed or clothed or helped with that Lego helmet that won’t come off or that ballet slipper that’s gone missing again.
Someone is always leaving messes of spilled juice, muddy socks, toothpaste smears, or a floor covered in Polly Pocket pieces.
Someone is always in need of a hug or an encouraging word or a stern mommy look that says, “Stop doing that right now” and yet “I still love you!”
Each morning I wake up to much of the same yuck and beauty that was there the day before.
And it’s easy to feel like all the training and loving and caring and disciplining and teaching of spelling words and refilling of sippy cups (over and over and over again) isn’t making a difference.
Although in my heart, I’m that beautiful piece of china – right now I feel much more like one of our very well used plastic cups that we got years ago from Ikea.
There’s nothing fancy or seemingly special about them. They’re not even the new version that has purple instead of the two blues. In fact they are the cups we go to by default, otherwise we’re fighting over the cool ones.
They’re often full of sticky fingerprints – globs of peanut butter and juice stains.
They’re all faded and worn.
And continually tipped over.
Being filled… being drank from… being washed… is their mundane existence.
Much like me.
To be of any value, this worn cup needs to first be filled.
And I have a choice as to what to fill it with… myself, this world, or the God who loves me.
If I keep filling it with myself, I’ll keep pouring and pouring and pouring, but never be satisfied.
If I fill it with this world, it could very well be poisoning.
But if I allow Him to fill my cup, His Spirit is in me.
And although maybe less than dazzling, little souls and big ones too, will most assuredly be thirsty.
They will drink from the cup, thirsty for every last drop.
But, with His power in me, I can now do it… give of time and energy and tears and grace… pour out truth and compassion and patience and mercy.
For even the tiniest drop, can be life altering.
And when I get full of the dirt and the grime of the day, I allow Him to cleanse me.
For then I am ready to be filled up once again.
Being filled… Being drank from… Being washed…
Those plastic tumbler cups are still faded and worn and sticky and tipped over. Yet, somehow happen to be our kids’ favorites.
And if I’m honest, they’re some of my favorites too.
For although they are worn – they show of their monotonous use and hidden value.
And although they’re continually knocked over – they’re sturdier than all the others.
And even if they fall from counter to floor, spilling liquid all over the vicinity of the kitchen – they haven’t broken yet.
And with six different colors – well, they’re perfect for our family. ;)
They are making a difference… so am I… so are you… whether china or plastic!
One drop at a time.
Wow- thank you! I soo need to hear this :-)
Nancy
mom of 5, 5 and under, including twins
Thanks, Nancy! Oh, how I remember those days of 5, 5 and under. :)
Praying you have a blessed weekend!
Jessica
Wow~ that was SOOOOO good! I never thought such depth and meaning could come from contemplating a plastic cup! So perfect for me right where I’m at. Never feeling like I’m quite making a difference. Especially when the kids have those same bad attitudes day after day and I lose my cool day after day for those same bad attitudes… Thanks for the encouragement. How are you filled each day with Jesus? Do you have a favorite devotional or quiet time routine? And what do you do on the days when you don’t have time? You may have already written about this in a different post, but maybe you could just kindly direct me there. Thanks, Jess! God bless~ Jen
Jenny, thanks for encouraging my heart once again! I’m so blessed by you. You’ve encouraged me to write a post answering your sweet questions. :) But, while you’re waiting for that, here’s a post that I wrote almost two years ago now (I can’t believe it’s been that long!!!) about finding time for God when you have little ones… http://www.ourfamilyforhisglory.com/2011/07/finding-time-for-god-when-you-have/ Many of those “tips” still apply. But one major thing I didn’t mention was memorizing Scripture. Honestly this time hiding Psalm 145 in my heart has been incredible… it’s like having my quiet time all throughout the day. I also really enjoy having a quiet time both in the morning and before bed. :) Look forward to talking with you soon!
~Jessica
Oh that sweet face. That is how I want to be looking at the Lord….in anticipation of all the good He has for me….the little things and the big. And trusting that even when I drop my cup and make a mess of things, He is always, always, always there to help clean it up. He always has been and I can depend on Him to keep on being there. We have those cups too, by the way. Love Ikea….Lots of God examples at that store, i do imagine. Hope you are doing well….what is your weather like….we are having snow today. I was supposed to go to a new headache specialist tomorrow in Ann Arbor, but had to reschedule because of the weather and I’ve got a doozy of a headache tonight,but it will pass. I’ll go look at that sweet little face again….good medicine for my soul. Love to your family xoxo
Thank you, Jane! We are doing well. I’m so thankful for God’s grace! We had snow last week, but this week, it’s been melting- but there’s still enough for our kiddos to play in. :) I’m praying for you and those headaches, and that you’ll be able to get in to see that headache specialist.
Blessings to you! ~Jessica
Thank-you for this post. God used it to hit me over the head with a 2×4 (sometimes that’s the only way I listen!) and I realized I’ve been trying to fill my cup by myself, with people and things that weren’t meant to truly FILL me. Thank-you. God used you tonight!
Lois, Your words made me smile! :) Oh, how those 2x4s can hurt, but are so good for us! Thank you for blessing me with your encouragement!
~Jessica
We have the same Ikea cups! They will remind me of this post every time we use them now. Thanks Jessica! xx
Hurray for Ikea cups! :) Thank you, Sarah!
~Jessica
I love what you said here “To be of any value, this worn cup needs to first be filled. And I have a choice as to what to fill it with… myself, this world, or the God who loves me.”
How often we try and fill that cup with ourselves and we keep pouring and pouring, as you said, and it never satisfies the emptiness. Then we run out and have nothing left to give. How many times have I caught myself running out BEFORE I remembered…..oh yes, Jesus! Hopefully I will continue to remember to turn to Him instead. :)
Yes, continually needing the reminder to turn to Jesus first and above all! So blessed by your words!
~Jessica
Thank you.